9 Charming Signs You’re In Love With A Man, Not A Boy

In dating and relationships, there are stark differences between emotionally mature men, and those who… well, aren’t. For the sake of illustrating these differences in this article, we will refer to the emotionally immature as “boys,” and the emotionally mature as “men.”

This is a list of nine great points from my good friend, Adam LoDolce. For those of you unfamiliar, Adam has been featured by multiple major media outlets such as Cosmopolitan, MTV, CNN, Glamour, and quite a few more.

Age is merely a number — actions define who a man is. But here’s the problem: most women spend their time trying to change boys into men. Well, that ends today. If you’re dating a boy right now, it’s up to you to be a woman and move on with your life.

Here are 9 charming signs you’re in love with a man, not a boy:

1. Boys avoid uncomfortable conversations; men know how to communicate their needs

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Even the best relationships have friction. You’re going to do or say something he doesn’t like — it’s inevitable. Boys are passive-aggressive, whereas a mature man will have a productive conversation with you… even if it’s a little awkward. Communication is the heart of a relationship, as research puts it, so why would you want to be someone who can’t?

2. Boys only want to hook up; men invest their time and energy in the right woman

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There’s a moment in every man’s life when he realizes that being in a relationship makes him significantly happier than chasing “tail” every night. If you’re only hearing from him at 1 am on a Saturday night, he’s not ready to give up his toys. Move on and find yourself a grown man.

3. Boys give shallow compliments; men pay genuine compliments

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There’s a huge difference between delivering a compliment to get something and delivering a compliment to give something. Mature men are givers because they know a mature woman will reciprocate.

4. Boys live day by day; men work hard to build a future for themselves and their women

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When you’re only focused on making yourself happy, you can party every night and be lazy every day. Once you realize that other people are relying on you, you’re willing to make the sacrifices you need to support your family.

5. Boys are intimated by smart women; men are stimulated by them

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If he’s insecure about his intellect, he won’t risk it with a smart girl. The boy will stay in his comfort zone, whereas a mature man wants the challenge of a smart woman. One study from the Personality and Social Psychology bulletin found that some men are intimidated by smart women, but don’t let that stop you from finding a man who knows your worth.

6. Boys make promises they can’t keep; men say it and mean it

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One of the biggest mistakes I’ve ever made was telling a woman I loved her when I didn’t mean it. I was a scared little boy trying to make a girl happy. A mature man will tell a woman how he feels when he feels it. And if it’s not there, he won’t make it up.

7. Boys avoid any chance of rejection; men face their fears and go for it

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Here’s the thing, both men and boys hate getting rejected — no matter who you are, rejection sucks. The only difference is that a mature man will push through his fears and go for it anyway because you’re worth it.

8. Boys don’t set priorities; men realize what’s most important and makes you a priority

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A mature man wants to spend his time with the people he cares about. And if he’s dating you, he cares about you. He will want to be with you and only you.

9. Boys put you down; men encourage and support you

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Scared little boys will try to drag a woman down with them as a defense mechanism. A mature man understands that he will grow as a man if his woman is growing as a woman.

James Michael Sam is an internationally recognized speaker, author, and personal development coach. He has become a go-to expert with outlets such as CNN, Bravo, The New York Post, The Huffington Post, The Daily Beast, CNBC, The Boston Globe, CBS, and more.