Boyfriend says he found out his ex-girlfriend was secretly recording him while he slept, claiming it was ‘art’

A Reddit user recently posted that he discovered over 90 videos of himself sleeping — recorded without his consent.

A Reddit user recently shared his concerns after his girlfriend revealed that she had been recording him sleeping — and had been doing so for months.

In an anonymous Reddit post titled “Am I the A——?”, a 21-year-old man turned to the online community for advice on what his then-girlfriend was calling her art project.

Just days before sharing her post on Wednesday, September 5, a Reddit user wrote that she had discovered an entire archive of videos taken whenever he spent the night at her house. There are 94 of them in total.

He wrote that his girlfriend, a 26-year-old pursuing a master’s degree in art school, told him it was about an art project and that she planned to ask his permission before submitting it, but admitted that the whole situation left him “terrified.”

“I can’t stop thinking about how she invaded my privacy by not telling me she was doing something like this,” he wrote. “She said if she told me it would ruin the project.”

The Reddit user added that while his girlfriend said she would tell him eventually — “because she was sure I would agree to it” — he himself felt weird about the whole situation.

He noted that he sought advice from the community because the incident had reached a point where he was thinking about breaking up with her, but he still feared he was “overreacting.”

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Commenters overwhelmingly agreed that his girlfriend had done the wrong thing — whether she thought the man would approve of being filmed or not, it was an invasion of privacy.

“(No way),” one response read. “You’re not overreacting. Your girlfriend violated your privacy and trust by filming you without your consent, even if it was for an art project. It’s understandable that you feel uncomfortable and scared. You have the right to set boundaries and expect them to be respected in your relationship.”

Other users wrote in that they were concerned about the overall premise of the art project, with one person even suggesting the Reddit user let the school know they didn’t approve of it if they actually uploaded it.

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“This is truly disgusting behavior,” one person added.

A few days later, in a follow-up Reddit post, the original user shared some details explaining the situation — and revealed that he had indeed broken up with his girlfriend.

“I asked my girlfriend if she had a backup project to submit in case I didn’t agree to be a part of her current project…” the user wrote. “She said no because she was sure I would do it.”

The man wrote that he told his girlfriend that her approach to the project was “completely wrong” and that he should have been involved from the beginning.

He added that it made him “feel like we were not a team and that we couldn’t be trusted.”

“As someone said in my previous post… you can’t give consent after the fact. We got a bit off-topic, talking about what’s ethical,” he wrote. “Of course, I’m not in graduate school, but I can still bring it up. I feel like she just pushed me into the background, and her defensiveness just turned me off even more.”

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He also wrote that while he had no objections to her project, he did have reservations about the way she obtained the footage.

“I asked her to delete it all. She said she did,” he continued. “I can only hope she did.”

He wrote that he broke up with her shortly after the tapes surfaced. While he was “confused” and sad about the breakup, he added that the issue was also illustrative of a larger problem in their relationship — that his ex, as he put it, “has no respect for my opinions.”

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“She always thinks she knows better, more, etc.,” he wrote, noting that his “heart hurts.”

“I don’t know if she’ll submit the project anyway. If she does, I’ll be sure I did the right thing by completing it,” he wrote.

The r/AITA community fully supported the 21-year-old’s decision, with one commenter writing on a subsequent post that he might even consider hiring a lawyer for any legal issues that might arise from this.

“That’s not a stupid reason,” another respondent commented, referring to the breakup. “I didn’t see the original post, but when I read it, I was speechless. I’m not sure what would make her think anyone would be okay with that.”

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