The nonprofit helps the black community deal with grief and mental health

Author: Aria Brent
AFRO Staff writer
[email protected]

According to the American Psychological Association (APA), “grief is the anguish felt after a significant loss, usually the death of a loved one.”

Mourning is often accompanied by “physiological dilemmas, separation anxiety, confusion, longing, obsessive recollection of the past and fear of the future,” according to APA. In some cases, “intense grief can be life-threatening due to immune system disorders, neglect, and suicidal thoughts.”

A 2008 report by Omega, Journal of Death and Dying found that black people are more likely to experience prolonged grief and are less likely to seek treatment due to cultural stigma and lack of access to care.

Kimberli Gross, founder and CEO of Celebrate Still Inc, a local nonprofit that provides grief support services, spoke with AFRO about how she deals with grief in the Black community and what resources are available to help people through grief.

“In our community, if you say you have a therapist or a counselor, it automatically means you’re crazy,” Gross said. “It’s not something we talk about. If something happens at home, he stays at home. You don’t take your matters to the streets, and this contributes to mental illness. It contributes to depression and teaches us how to live with dysfunction.”

Gross founded Celebrate Still in 2021 with the hopes of helping people find a new normal, build community, and destigmatize the idea of ​​going to therapy. The grief expert then discussed the different stages of grief and how lasting the feeling is.

“There are seven stages of grief, from denial to acceptance,” she said. “But these feelings change – they ebb and flow. One day you are good and calm, and the next you are angry and resentful.”

Grief is a deeply personal journey that affects individuals in many ways, whether through the loss of a loved one, the end of a significant relationship, or other forms of personal loss. Organizations like Gross encourage open dialogue about these experiences and create an environment where people can express their emotions without stigma or isolation.

According to Good Grief, a nonprofit grief organization, “Black families are more than three times more likely to have two or more family members die before the age of 30. Black families are about 90 percent more likely to have four or more family members die than whites before age 60.”

Terri McKoy spoke to AFRO about how in the Black community, grief is often handled from an emotional standpoint, leaving out the mental aspect of long-term feelings.

“We consider grief based more on the emotional state than the mental state,” the grief counselor said. “When we check on people we know have experienced loss or bereavement, we ask, ‘How are you feeling?’ ‘ or ‘How are you today?’ But once we get past the ceremonial traditions, everyone thinks that time heals the sadness in our culture and we just move on.”

Noting that a person’s mood is often perceived as an overall sense of well-being, McKoy explained how important it is for the Black community to understand how to differentiate between the two and how grief affects a person’s mental health.

“We can better support each other by understanding the impact of grief on individuals. Yes, there is an emotional aspect to it, but becoming more educated about the fact that grief is inevitable and final can help,” McKoy said. “Understanding that there is a medical aspect to grief. A person’s brain can change depending on how grief affects them.”

Gross expressed a similar sentiment, noting that education is a great tool when it comes to being healthy and aware of the effects of grief. The experienced grief coach also discussed how learning these new habits can be difficult for those raised in a generation of people who typically did not deal with their mental health in a healthy way – if at all.

“Older generations usually prefer to fend for themselves and suffer in silence. There are generations raised by adults who do not believe in therapists,” she said. “Now we’re kind of waking up and educating ourselves, and these conversations are different. My generation is discovering so many things about themselves all at once and trying to unpack and figure out what part is trauma, learned behavior, stigma and if this is really who I am.

McKoy noted that when experiencing grief, we should first remember that it is extremely personal. Your journey with him must fit you as an individual.

“Grief is personal and I don’t want people to have a blanket idea of ​​how someone should grieve or deal with it. It is special to each of us.”