SAUCY SECRETS: My husband doesn’t know I was made redundant and have been making a living selling feet pics – should I tell him?

Dear Jana,

I hope you’re well. I found myself in a bit of a dilemma and could really use your advice. Since getting fired in June, I’ve been selling feet pictures and, surprisingly, I’m earning more than I did in my previous job. My husband thinks I’ve received a promotion and is really excited, but he has no idea about the nature of my work.

Given his jealousy and slightly religious views, I’m concerned about how he might react if I tell him the truth. I really enjoy what I’m doing and it’s giving me the freedom to pursue other passions as well. How can I approach this conversation without causing a major upset?

Thank you for your help! Anonymous

Oh anonymous,

For the life of me I can’t work out why anyone would get jealous of you selling pictures of your tootsies. If it was your tata’s, sure! But those wriggly things attached to your foot are perfectly harmless and can be spotted on many beaches far and wide. So, get them out girl, and make that money!

If he has a problem with it, then I would be questioning how the heck you landed such a boring old fart.

You’ve found an inventive (and easy) way to make money. Bravo you. If it’s allowing you some freedom as part of the package then it’s a win/win as far as I’m concerned.

However (yes sadly there is a however) I think you do need to fess up. Could you imagine if he runs into someone from your old job and finds out that way. Drama. Unnecessary drama.

So put your best food forward (oh I crack myself up) and just tell him straight. Call me crazy, but I think he’s reaction may surprise you very well.

Dear Jana,

My partner and I have recently started swinging, and it’s really revitalized our marriage. However, at a recent event, I unexpectedly reconnected with my first love and ended up sleeping with him while my husband was with someone else. This experience has stirred up old feelings and I’m interested in sleeping with him again.

My ex mentioned wanting to know about future events I attend so we can do it again, but I’m concerned about how my husband would feel if he knew about my past connection. Is it okay to keep this information to myself or should I be honest with him? I truly enjoy these events and don’t want to jeopardize our new dynamic.

Anonymous.

Dear Anonymous,

Oh this is a head scratcher – does it count as cheating if you’re at a swingers party? This is a tricky one! I mean, on the one hand, yay for reconnecting with someone you clearly have a good time with, but yeah, if I was the boyfriend I don’t think I would love the idea.

Hmm… ok let me ponder on this for a sec… Ok I’ve got it!

You have to tell him. For the simple fact that you have both trusted each other with a new sexy lifestyle that requires just that – trust in each other and trust in the relationship. Perhaps don’t mention that you’ve already slept with your ex at a previous party. But bring up the fact that you’ve heard your ex attends these kind of parties and ask your current partner how he would feel if you ran into him and bonked.

Who knows, he might find it a turn on? In fact, I wouldn’t be surprised if he asked to watch you both. That kind of kink is far more common than you would think. If not, weigh up who means more to you and go with that. My bet is on your current partner.

Hey Jana,

So my girlfriend and I were in Vegas, had a few too many drinks, and ended up getting ‘married’ by Elvis at one of those chapels. I knew it wasn’t legit back in Australia, but now she wants to register it for real, and it’s freaking me out a bit.

I’m not ready for the whole marriage thing yet, but I don’t want to hurt her feelings. How do I tell her without making it awkward?

Cheers, Anonymous

Dear Anonymous,

Oh lord, if we were all held accountable for the things we said/did/vowed after a few too many margaritas, we’d be in all sorts! Not going to lie, this story is giving Britney Spears circa 2004 vibes.

But let me start by saying you sound like a blast to go on holiday with! I love the idea of ​​a spur-of-the-moment wedding – it’s a cracking tale to tell the grandkids! That said, I get it; once you register it for real, you’re locked in.

Anyone who has emerged from the grim depths of a divorce will tell you it’s not worth the lol’s of a silly night out. So trust your gut. If it’s not the right time, then it’s not the right time.

My advice would be this: when you talk to her, be gentle but firm. Avoid wishy-washy language that might give her hope you’ll change your mind. Frame it as a ‘let’s enjoy where we are’ vibe. Maybe suggest ticking off a few more relationship goals before diving into anything permanent.

Sure, it’s a fun story for dinner parties but emphasize that real marriage deserves more thought than just a night in Vegas. You’d be surprised how well we women take the truth. Sure, there might be a few tears, but she’ll appreciate your honesty in the long run. If not, do just that – run.