A single man asks if he is a loser because he never married or had children

For today’s generation, the traditional path of getting married and starting a family is becoming less of a standard and more of a choice. Many people around the world prefer not to get married or have children because they have other important life priorities.

However, this does not mean that they never feel lonely or have difficulty establishing relationships with peers. One man took to Reddit for this exact reason, asking if it’s normal for someone in their 30s to not have a spouse and children.

A single man in his 30s asked if he was a “loser” because he had never married or had children.

The 37-year-old visited the r/adult forum on Reddit to share his impressions of the life he has chosen for himself and how he sometimes feels like a “loser” despite being independent and self-sufficient.

“I have a great job in tech and make decent money,” he detailed. “I have my place. I have my own car and I take care of myself. I have no parents, siblings, family. I don’t have any friends my age anymore.

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He told how he and his friends eventually drifted apart when they all started families and he didn’t have much to do with them anymore. He also decided to stop dating, explaining that at his age it was difficult to find single women without “baggage” and he preferred not to date women in their 20s.

After work, he has no pressing responsibilities to worry about, instead he has more time for his hobbies, which include martial arts, sports, motorcycles, anime, computers, technology, and guitar.

Despite his diverse interests, he expressed how he feels “insecure” when co-workers ask about his life simply because he has no family or children.

“It’s not like I sacrificed my family for career or money,” he added. “I’m bad at my job and I’m definitely not rich. I like my job enough to do it, but after 5 p.m. I don’t care about it.”

He ended his post by asking whether Reddit users agreed that he was a loser, although he explained how he had recently suffered an injury, hence his depressing attitude towards life.

Reddit users identified with the single man and emphasized the beauty of exploring different life experiences.

Reddit users pointed out that giving up on starting a family is quite common and does not mean that someone has “lost” their life. Rather, they chose a different path that is significant in its own way.

“There are too many possible life experiences for anyone to accumulate them all in a lifetime,” someone wisely observed. “I love being a parent, but it comes with a huge opportunity cost and it’s not for everyone.”

According to a 2024 report by the Pew Research Center, 44% of U.S. adults under 50 say they would prefer not to have children so they can focus on their careers and interests instead.

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Others pointed out that there were plenty of married couples and parents who regretted their life choices, especially if they started this lifestyle before they knew what they wanted in life. It’s much scarier to regret marriage and parenthood than to regret not having chosen marriage and parenthood. The option of marrying, conceiving or adopting is always available, but the option of returning to an independent life is not.

Various users in their 30s who did not have partners or children echoed the man’s experiences but offered signs of wisdom and hope. One 37-year-old single woman admired a man’s hobbies and encouraged him to be open to meeting new people if he felt lonely, stating that “everyone has some baggage,” but that the most important thing was finding emotionally intelligent people who could cope. in a healthy way.

She confessed that feeling like a failure was her “identity” until she woke up and realized how many opportunities and experiences surrounded her.

“We cannot change the past, but we can change the future,” she advised. “Keep doing things that make you happy. Maintain the attitude that you never know what tomorrow will bring and allow yourself to lose control of situations that are beyond your control.

Living alone without children can be just as satisfying.

It all depends on perception. Whether you decide to start a family or not, every life experience matters in some way. While starting a family provides lifelong deep connections, solitude allows for self-exploration.

There is something special about living a life that is completely independent and connected to yourself. People who choose life without marriage and children also experience less stress and have greater freedom to travel and work on themselves.

Of course, many would agree that life without family and friends can certainly become lonely, but loneliness is a subjective term. Some people prefer solitude and cultivate deep bonds with animals instead of people. Others develop their own support systems and family of friends.

Regardless of what an individual chooses in life, if he follows his passion and intuition, pursues interests and ideas that bring him joy, nothing else matters.

Life goes on and eventually comes to an end, which is why it’s so important to practice gratitude, be present, and look forward to future experiences.

Francesca Duarte is a staff writer on YourTango’s news and entertainment team based in Orlando, Florida. It deals with lifestyle, human interests, adventure and spirituality.