In “Nobody Wants This”, the romantic comedy returns to century-old tropes with a new twist – a charming rabbi

(The Conversation) – Twenty years ago, the TV show “The OC” coined the word “Chrismukkah.” Main character Seth Cohen, played by Adam Brody, described his interfaith family’s December tradition of “eight days of gifts followed by one day full of gifts.”

Today, Brody returns, starring in a new Netflix show. But this time, instead of playing the child of an interfaith marriage, he is a rabbi dating a woman “without a Jewish bone in her body” – one who at times seems unfamiliar with the basics of American Jewish culture.

“Nobody Wants This” is the story of the romance between Rabbi Noah and Joanne, played by Kristen Bell: a blonde, non-Jewish woman who hosts a podcast about her dating mishaps. The show uses the word “shiksa” to describe Joanne, which means a non-Jewish woman. But many find it so rude that I’m sure my mother will materialize in my apartment to wash my mouth out with soap just for typing.

Joanne and Noah meet at a party where he flirts with her. They quickly agree that the religious divide between them makes it impossible for them to meet.

But of course it is.

In 2024, the largest Jewish movement in the United States, Reform Judaism, has decided to admit students with non-Jewish partners to its rabbinical school – as have several smaller liberal Jewish movements, including Renewal, Secular Humanists, and Reconstructionists. Conservative and Orthodox rabbis are prohibited from marrying a non-Jewish spouse, and as recently as 2023, the Conservative movement reiterated that its rabbis cannot perform interfaith marriages.

Although some rabbis have only recently managed to have a non-Jewish partner, the central theme of Jewish men dating and marrying non-Jewish women has been a theme on stage and screen for 100 years. As a scholar of American Judaism, I write about these depictions of interfaith couples in my book, Beyond Chrismukkah: The Christian-Jewish Interfaith Family in the United States.

Becoming “real” Americans

In 1922, “Abie’s Irish Rose” premiered on Broadway and was a commercial hit for five years. The comedy depicts the romance between Abie, an American Jewish soldier, and Rose, his Irish-American nurse during World War I.

Rose and Abie’s courtship is met with disapproval by their fathers, who are portrayed as symbols of the old world, dangerously concerned with preserving an outdated worldview. Meanwhile, the young couple’s love highlights their willingness to abandon their identities as Catholic and Jewish – both were considered “outside” religions in the 1920s – to become “real” Americans.

The rabbi and priest present at their wedding are also veterans, which deepens the play’s message that patriotism comes first. Abie and Rose’s marriage is presented as an idealized, romantic version of the American melting pot.

The show was as successful on tour as it was on Broadway, although many critics hated it. It was revived twice on Broadway and made into two films. Many fakes have been made, including a movie called “The Cohens and the Kellys.”

In the 1940s, “Abie’s Irish Rose” became a radio spinoff, but times have changed. Exaggerated ethnic caricatures were no longer acceptable and the series was canceled after a few seasons.

“Bridget Loves Bernie”

In the early 1970s, CBS created a comedy series based on the story of a Jewish man – in this case a taxi driver whose parents own a New York deli – who falls in love with a Catholic teacher from a wealthy family. As in “Abie’s Irish Rose”, in “Bridget Loves Bernie” the younger generation supports the marriage, including the bride’s brother, who is a priest.

All objections come from members of the older generation who are portrayed as tropes – irrational and stuck in their ways. The TV program suggests that opposing interfaith marriages is old-fashioned and unacceptable.

“Bridget Loves Bernie” was met with loud protests and was canceled at the end of its first season. Many Jewish viewers objected to the suggestion that interfaith marriage was acceptable or even fashionable.

The show was probably particularly unnerving for the Jewish community because interfaith marriages were growing at an unprecedented rate in the 1970s, creating fear in the community that Jewish assimilation into broader American culture would prove too successful. The fear was that interfaith couples would not raise their children as Jews, which would result in the Jewish community being reduced to nonexistence. Additionally, Judaism has traditionally considered a child to be Jewish only if its mother is also Jewish – although this has changed in liberal movements.

Writing in my book, one critic writing for The New York Times suggested that a situation comedy about interfaith marriage was as distasteful as one about “a Jewish family’s merry adventures on the way to the gas chambers.”

Although CBS has denied that the show was canceled due to the protests, it remains the highest-rated program that the network has canceled.

The theme of Jewish interfaith marriage as American and opposition to antiquated interfaith marriage is also echoed in films – most notably the original “Heartbreak Kid” and “Annie Hall.”

Although no one has ever mentioned religion in the decade-long series “Mad About You,” two of the episodes feature a Jewish man marrying a non-Jewish woman – and much of the humor comes from cultural differences.

New series, same stereotype

Both concepts are also present to some extent in Nobody Wants This – which also includes another, uglier topic from the interfaith marriage archives.

In the opening scene, Noah breaks up with his Jewish girlfriend, Rebecca – a woman so desperate for a proposal that she searches through his locked desk, finds an engagement ring, puts it on without his knowledge, and then tries to convince him that, despite his doubts, they should get married. This ex-girlfriend and her best friend, Noah’s sister-in-law, appear numerous times throughout the series, demonstrating a number of negative stereotypes about Jewish women as wives and lovers. Noah’s mother, who speaks with an old-fashioned accent, claims to know all of his friends and reminds her son, “No one can take seriously a rabbi who dates a shiksa, let alone marry one. It doesn’t bother me that I look like an overprotective mother.”

These characters reflect the negative stereotypes that American Jews, men and women, have long held about themselves, as historian Riv-Ellen Prell has written: the “ghetto girl” – the Jewish girl who is too greedy, pushy, and avaricious; and men who are basically mommy’s boys. Joyce Antler, also a historian of American Judaism, has written specifically about stereotypes of Jewish mothers as nosy, interfering, domineering, and overly involved.

Like previous generations of non-Jewish actresses, Joanne is, as one of my interlocutors called it, a “shiksa goddess.” She’s blonde, she’s laid back, she’s everything Jewish women are supposedly not. It is attractive in its contrast.

In a way, “Nobody Wants This” shows something new: not only can you make a show about interfaith dating, but a Jewish dater can also be a rabbi! But in other respects it’s as old as the hills, or at least as old as the silver screen – serving up stories, tropes and misogynistic stereotypes in a shiny new package.

(Samira Mehta, associate professor of women’s and gender studies and Jewish studies at the University of Colorado at Boulder. The views expressed in this commentary do not necessarily reflect those of Religion News Service.)