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A woman turns down an engagement because it took her boyfriend too long to propose

A woman turns down an engagement because it took her boyfriend too long to propose

When a man proposed to his girlfriend of ten years, he was completely stunned when she said no.

He was even more astonished by the fact that waiting too long for the engagement was the catalyst for her rejection.

However, some believed that the woman’s reason was completely valid and the cause of many failed relationships.

A woman rejected her boyfriend’s proposal because he had been asking her to marry him for “too long.”

The devastated man shared his story on the r/offmychest subreddit. He wrote that he was “very excited” to finally propose to his girlfriend of ten years and was sure she would say yes.

fizkes | Shutterstock

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“I offered. I handed her the ring. She looked like she was about to cry. Then she said, “I’m sorry.” “I don’t think we should get married,” he wrote.

When the embarrassed man asked why, she replied that it was because of how long it took him to finally get down on one knee.

“I will always be the girl who took you ten years to decide if I was wife material. I don’t know how to enjoy this reality,” the woman told her boyfriend.

Now the heartbroken boy is unsure of what to do, considering the woman he wants to spend his life with doesn’t want the same.

Others, however, tried to explain why the man’s girlfriend reacted the way she did and why there was probably no going back to the way things used to be.

Some people believe that when a relationship lasts for a long time and there is no discussion of marriage or moving on to the next level, people often stop fighting to keep it alive. In fact, Dr. Kelly Campbell, a professor of psychology at California State University, believes that the magic time it takes for a couple to be in a relationship before they start talking about marriage is about two years. In an interview with Shape, she explained: “Research shows that when couples first fall in love, they are in a state of euphoria that lasts anywhere from eight months to two years,” Campbell said. After two years, passion gives way to “attendant love,” which Campbell says is “not as obsessive.” Basically, this is the time when a couple who is truly in love will start planning for the future, but a couple who has nothing in common other than a physical, passionate relationship will most likely end in failure.

dragana991 | CanvaPro

“It seems like the 10 years are just one of the reasons, but she has been considering breaking up with you for some time and may have been on the way to breaking up. That’s really too long for anyone to wait to get involved. I guess lessons have been learned,” another user suggested.

“Women who are ‘wife material,’ whatever you want to call it, don’t want anything or anything; they have to beg. And when women stop arguing about something and you think everything is fine, you couldn’t be further from the truth,” wrote another user.

When women are in a relationship where they feel like their partner will never commit to them, they often check in emotionally.

“Of course, after ten years she would give you directions, she would ask, ‘When will this happen?’ Do you even want to get married? Is there something wrong with me? And she was probably desperate to make it work because she had given so much time and years of her life as a young woman,” content creator Brett Cooper shared in a TikTok video in response to the man’s post on Reddit.

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Some couples may choose to wait a few years to settle down and get married, while others decide after a few months that they are ready. Above all, you should respect your partner’s time.

If you know that they want to get married and start a family in the near future and you don’t want or still need time, let them know.

They deserve to know whether it is worth having a future with you or not and whether your goals are consistent.

“Don’t drag her along for ten years if you’re not sure you’re ready,” Cooper said. “Because the longer this relationship lasts, the harder it will be to leave and the harder it will be to break up if it inevitably happens.”

“We can all move to a new place, make new friends, make more money and find another job, but all we can do is get our time and energy back.”

Some blamed the man’s girlfriend for not making her intentions clear and leaving the relationship when she realized that her partner did not want to get married on the same date as her.

“He didn’t waste her time. She wasted her time by staying,” one TikTok user commented.

“She could have proposed just by saying,” another user suggested.

Others argued that no one should be forced to propose before he or she is ready to please his or her partner, no matter how much he or she suggests and asks for it.

Dmytro Zinkevych | Shutterstock

Both the woman and the boy are to blame for the failed engagement because neither of them has spoken about their feelings and desires for the future.

When it all comes down to it, proper communication is key. If you have specific things planned for your future, let your partner know if you plan to include them.

If you want to get married in the near future, tell them so. If you want to wait a few years and advance in your career before settling down, let them know.

Even if you’re not planning a wedding, tell your partner about it.

This way, they can determine whether it is worth continuing the relationship.

“It’s time to talk to your partner about marriage when you feel like your relationship has reached a point of depth and stability,” professional matchmaker and CEO of Bloom Matchmaking Paula Pardel told The Knot exclusively.

However, it’s important to consider how long you and your partner have been together and whether you really see a future with them.

“It may be too early to start talking about your future or marriage if you haven’t been able to communicate openly and honestly about your wants and needs in the future,” Pardel added.

“Is your partner emotionally mature? Does he communicate his feelings to you? Ask yourself: “Why do I want to have a future with this person?” How does it make you feel? How do you make him feel?”

Failing to have these conversations can irreversibly damage your relationship and even make your partner feel like you’re not taking the relationship seriously.

RELATED: Woman Shares Marriage Proposals She Would Immediately Turn Down Because They’re ‘Cheesy’

Megan Quinn is a writer at YourTango covering entertainment and news, self, love and relationships.