Real vs. Movie Friendships: How Teens and Young Adults Can Build Real Relationships in a Digital World

People naturally limit their social networks because of the way our brains are wired, leading to the concept of “Dunbar’s Number,” which represents the 150 or so people we can maintain stable relationships with. However, social media allows us to “maintain” far more connections than we were able to handle in the past, resulting in an overwhelming flood of social information. This can be especially difficult for young adults, who are particularly susceptible to the opinions of others during critical stages of development. They face a constant barrage of social updates, making it difficult to distinguish between real connections and superficial online interactions. So how can we navigate between our real and fake friendships? Let’s find out. (Read also: The Burden of Being an Older Daughter: What Is Oldest Daughter Syndrome and How Does It Affect Relationships? )

In today’s digital age, teens are torn between real-life friendships and the often overwhelming world of social media. (Unsplash)

Aanandita Vaghani, founder and mental health therapist, UnFix Your Feelings, shared with HT Lifestyle her tips on how to navigate between real-life connections and social media interactions to build authentic relationships.

1. Create your own identity

One of the most important challenges that teenagers face is the search for identity. They go through a period of self-discovery filled with questions about who they are and who they want to become, often complicated by societal expectations and peer pressure. The internal conflict between authenticity and acceptance creates tension as they struggle to find their place in their social circles and the larger society.

Teens often seek validation through likes, comments, and followers, which can blur the lines between real friendships and those based on social media popularity. Building real friendships takes time and effort, and balancing nurturing real relationships with maintaining an online presence can be difficult. The curated lives seen on social media can lead to constant comparison, making teens feel inadequate or jealous, which puts a strain on their real-life relationships.

2. Understand exaggeration

The media often exaggerates or romanticizes relationships. Teens should be encouraged to focus on real interactions and experiences rather than comparing themselves to unrealistic standards.

3. Think critically

As organizations and parents, we need to help teens develop critical thinking skills and self-awareness by asking questions like, “Does this post show the whole picture?” or “What might be left out?”

4. A role model

As adults, what we do is a reflection of what our teens do. Through role modeling, we can encourage them to focus on building and nurturing their unique connections rather than trying to imitate idealized versions of their friends.

5. Recognize one-sided effort

A key indicator of a fake friendship is when the relationship seems one-sided. In a true friendship, both people should contribute equally to maintaining the bond. If one person is always putting in the effort to maintain the friendship, it could be a sign of imbalance or a fake relationship, leaving the relationship on shaky ground.

6. Understand loyalty

Loyalty is key in any friendship. If one person consistently betrays the trust of the other, it means the bond is not valued or respected. Friendships based on lies or manipulation can lead to feelings of distrust and emotional harm.

7. Respect boundaries

Everyone has personal boundaries that need to be respected. Open communication about what is and isn’t acceptable is key. Be sure to discuss and agree on boundaries with your friends to ensure the relationship remains respectful and healthy.