My Husband Asked Me to Have a Threesome with His Best Friend – Now I Have Questions About His Sexual Orientation

A woman admitted that she began to have doubts about her husband’s sexual orientation after he invited her to have a threesome with his best friend.

Speaking to UK parenting platform Mumsnet, the woman explained that although her partner of 17 years was “in touch with his feminine side”, “the fact that he was gay never crossed her mind”.

She revealed that her husband asked her if she would like to have threesome sex with him and his friend, who was also a witness for the couple at their wedding.

The woman explained that her partner and his partner had been friends since school but had recently become closer and she feared their relationship might have “changed”.

Many people rushed to the comments asking for advice, with some saying she should “leave the marriage.”

The post reads: “DH (my beloved husband) and I have been with him for 17 years and married for eight. We have two children together, DS (my beloved son) and DD (my beloved daughter) and together we have built a wonderful family.

I never questioned DH’s sexual orientation, aside from occasional comments from my friends about some of DH’s slightly feminine traits.

“Although he is aware of his feminine nature, he is an electrician and has always enjoyed a pint at the local pub with his mates, so the idea that he is gay never occurred to me.

He has always maintained a close relationship with his best friend, but lately I feel like a lot has changed…

“He and Paul* have been best friends since school, and Paul was our best man at our wedding. Paul and I get on well, but we’re not close friends because I have my own friends.”

She explained that she had no personal connection with her partner’s friend, but her husband approached her with the idea of ​​a “potential threesome.”

She added: “Having been together for so long, I can honestly say that things aren’t as exciting in the bedroom between my husband and I as they used to be, so I understand wanting to spice things up now that the kids are older.

DH didn’t explain exactly where the idea came from, but he seemed enthusiastic and assured me it would be great fun for the three of us.

“It made me question DH’s sexuality, as Paul himself had never shown much interest in me beyond being nice, which made me wonder if it was DH’s idea and I’m not sure what that would mean. DH and Paul had always been very close and confided in each other, but now I’m starting to question the nature of their relationship. Any advice would be appreciated.”

Some suggested that her partner might be cheating on her, while others said that he could definitely be gay.

One person said, “In my opinion, and this is just my opinion… I don’t understand how someone can love another person and at the same time want to have sex with someone else and watch them do the same.

“I can’t imagine ever doing that. If my husband suggested a threesome, I would assume he was either planning on cheating or was cheating. I would walk out of the marriage.”

Another said: “I wonder how this topic came up between your DH and Paul. They have clearly already had this conversation.

“I don’t think they would be willing to risk their friendship by having sex and potentially destroying your marriage just to experiment if there wasn’t a strong attraction between them.

“I would bet money that they had sex or at least brought it up before, maybe even years ago.

‘If you agree to a threesome, they can go ahead and experiment with your ‘consent’, and what happens is your husband discovers all these new feelings, does some serious soul-searching, and he and Paul are really surprised to find they have feelings for each other. And the truth is, honey, I might be gay, and you helped me see that.’

Meanwhile, others said she shouldn’t worry about her husband’s suggestion. One person said: “Of course he’s not gay. He just wants a threesome and has decided that his partner is probably the best person to have it with.

“Assure them that even if you say yes, it won’t happen anyway, they probably just got drunk in the pub one night and thought it was a great idea. Just say no if it’s not for you and move on.”

Another said: “Wanting a threesome doesn’t make you gay. Wanting to expand your sex life after 17 years is very common and a way to keep things exciting in the bedroom. Wanting a threesome is a very common fantasy.

“Wanting to fantasize and then explore, your first threesome with your best friend is not uncommon. Three people I knew said drunkenly, ‘if I ever do it again, I’ll do it with my best friend.’ One of those people did it with her best friend.”

“He may not have even considered that things like sex toys, new positions, role play, dirty talk, erotic fiction, etc. would be a great way to spice things up. Some men just default to, ‘get someone else involved, that’ll do it,’ without even thinking about the long-term implications of what that means.”

Meanwhile, someone else said, “I don’t understand the connection between wanting a threesome and your DH being gay. A threesome may not involve any physical contact between your DH and his friend (too much tmi to describe).”

A fourth said: “Lots of straight men get turned on by fantasies of ‘sharing’ their wife with another man. That doesn’t mean he’s gay.”

*Name has been changed