Singles are going back to their old ways: swapping apps for real-life dating

Many singles trying their hand at dating these days are expressing their dissatisfaction with using apps like Hinge, Tinder, and Bumble to find their significant other.

According to Singles Report, nearly 80% of singles say they experience some degree of emotional fatigue or burnout while online dating.

“What’s different about dating right now is that there are so many more rejections and disappointments among daters than in previous generations,” Myisha Battle, a relationship expert, told “Nightline.” “Not feeling like you’ve met someone you like and want to spend time with, let alone be in a relationship with.”

That’s why more and more people are opting to find love in person. Singles and dating events are seeing a surge in attendance, including a resurgence of speed-dating events, according to Eventbrite.

Relationship experts like Battle say such real-life events are evidence of our longing for something that was once common.

“We’re really missing third spaces — I mean, coffee shops, record stores, bookstores, those spaces where people used to naturally hang out,” Battle said. “So now we’re missing out on a lot of those opportunities for in-person connection.”

In the absence of such natural, in-person opportunities to find love, some turn to more traditional methods.

Shows like “Indian Matchmaking” and “Jewish Matchmaking” reflect a renaissance in the ancient art of lifelong pairing.

People like Aleeza Ben Shalom, a professional matchmaker, have helped singles find their match, as chronicled in her popular Netflix series “Jewish Matchmaking,” which draws on her religious and cultural roots. She says she has helped more than 200 couples get married.

“A matchmaker really has three jobs. The first job is to be the person who introduces and brings people together,” Shalom said. “The second job is to be the coach, to do what you want to do, to say what you say, and to help them through the process. The third job is to be the person who closes. The person who says, ‘No, you’re going to get married. This is good. You can do it. This is a good relationship.’ Or, ‘I know you may love him, but this is never going to work. You have to break up.’”

Since the show’s success, Shalom has traveled the world hosting live matchmaking shows.

Shalom’s matchmaking colleagues attend conferences like the Global Love Institute to learn to hone their craft. At this year’s conference in New York, more than 100 matchmakers wanted to learn how to help clients find their ideal partner.

“One of the things that sets today’s matchmakers apart from the matchmakers of yesteryear is that today’s matchmakers understand the science of relationships,” says author Terri Orbuch, a relationship expert. “And they know what’s important for long-term, happy relationships.”

A long-term relationship is what Jada Harmon, 28, has been looking for in a special someone for the past year. She recently changed her dating strategy to focus on live events.

“I’m at a place now where I feel more ready, more than ever, to make time for a long-term relationship,” Harmon said. “I love someone who is ambitious and has goals and hobbies.”

Harmon is currently taking a break from dating apps and is focusing on in-person connections, simply meeting people by chance. While singles like Harmon continue to search for love in real life, major dating apps are experimenting with artificial intelligence.

Earlier this year, Bumble founder Whitney Wolfe Herd made headlines for her role in AI matchmaking, saying, “There’s a world where your dating consultant could set you up with other dating consultants. Then you wouldn’t have to talk to 600 people. … And say, these are the three people you really should meet. That’s the power of AI.”

Meanwhile, union experts remain skeptical for now.

“No robot is going to be able to tell me who I’m attracted to,” Battle said. “There’s absolutely no way they could know whether I like the way they smell, there’s no way they could know whether I like the way they brain works, there’s no way I want them to be able to predict whether this is going to be a lasting connection for me.”

Experts say that whether you decide to work with a matchmaker, go on a speed date or try out apps one last time, the reward is in the journey itself, not just the destination.

“Instead of dating with the goal of, ‘I have to find a partner, I have to have a partner,’ it might be better to have the goal of, ‘I want to have experiences with people so I know who I’m compatible with,’” Battle said. “So dating can also be a process of self-discovery.”