Marriage Counseling: Techniques and What to Expect

What is marriage counseling?

Marriage counseling is a form of therapy that aims to help couples improve their relationship. It involves working with a trained professional to help couples resolve conflicts, improve communication, and strengthen their bond. The ultimate goal is to help couples build a healthier, more fulfilling partnership and determine the best path forward for their relationship.

Marriage Counseling vs. Couples Therapy

Although often used interchangeably, marriage counseling (or marriage therapy) and couples therapy have subtle differences. Marriage counseling is a form of couples counseling that is directed at married couples and focuses on specific issues. Couples therapy, however, is a broader term that can include unmarried couples, same-sex relationships, and other intimate relationships.

Furthermore, the terms “counseling” and “therapy” have different meanings.^1,2 Counseling typically focuses on specific issues, such as communication problems or infidelity.³ Therapy, on the other hand, can be broader in scope and can address larger patterns or disorders. Both approaches aim to improve the dynamics of the relationship and foster understanding between partners.

Do you have to be religious to get marriage counseling?

You and your partner do not have to be religious to seek marriage counseling. While some couples may prefer faith-based counseling, there are many other options available. Professional marriage counselors are trained to work with couples of all backgrounds, beliefs, and lifestyles.

Nonreligious couples can benefit from counseling just as much as religious couples. The key is to find a counselor whose approach aligns with your values ​​and needs.

Problems That Can Be Solved Through Marriage Counseling

Marriage counseling can help resolve a wide range of issues couples face, including:

Visit our catalog to find qualified counselors in your area who offer family and marriage counseling services.

Preparation for marriage

For couples who are engaged or thinking about getting married, premarital counseling can be beneficial. This type of counseling helps couples explore their expectations, values, and goals before entering into marriage. It can also address potential areas of conflict and provide tools for effective communication and problem-solving.

End of marriage

Counseling can also help people who have decided to end their marriage. Separation and divorce counseling can provide support and guidance to couples who are going through the end of their marriage. This type of counseling helps partners process emotions, make informed decisions, and develop strategies for co-parenting or maintaining a civil partnership after divorce.

Techniques used in marriage counseling

Counselors can use a variety of problem-solving techniques, coping strategies, and psychotherapeutic approaches to help couples improve their relationship. Common methods include:

Each of these techniques helps couples gain insight into the dynamics of their relationship and develop new, healthier ways of interacting. Counselors tailor their approach to the unique needs and circumstances of each couple, often combining multiple techniques to achieve the best results.

What to expect from marriage counseling

When entering marriage counseling, couples can expect a structured process that begins with an initial assessment. The counselor will gather information about the couple’s history, current challenges, and goals for therapy.

Marriage counseling is similar to other types of couples therapy. Sessions are held once a week and last about an hour.⁴ During these sessions, both partners have the opportunity to express their concerns and views in a safe, neutral environment.

The counselor may assign homework or exercises to practice between sessions. As therapy progresses, couples often gain new insights, develop better communication skills, and work to resolve conflicts more effectively.

The length of marriage counseling depends on the needs and progress of the couple. Some couples see improvement within a few weeks, while others may benefit from longer therapy lasting months or even longer. Throughout the process, the counselor will help couples set realistic expectations and work toward achievable goals.

Is marriage counseling effective?

People who seek marriage counseling or couples therapy achieve better results on average than the 70-80% of people who do not seek treatment.⁵ This makes marriage counseling as effective as, or more effective than, the best treatments for individual mental health problems.

Regularly checking in on the health of your relationship, whether with a therapist or just between spouses, can also lead to long-term improvements in both the marriage and the mental health of each party.⁶

When it comes to specific psychotherapy techniques, cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) has shown particularly promising results with couples, helping to relieve stress in the relationship.⁷ The Gottman Method has also been shown to be effective in improving couples’ adjustment to each other and their relationship over time, including intimacy.⁸

It is important to remember that marriage counseling requires commitment and effort on the part of both partners. Success often depends on the willingness of the couple to engage in the process, practice new skills, and make necessary changes in the relationship.

Finding a Marriage Counselor

When searching for a marriage counselor, consider their qualifications and experience. It’s no wonder that counselors who are qualified, evidence-based therapists can provide the best results.⁹

Consider factors like their approach, availability, and compatibility with your needs. Many therapists offer initial consultations so you can assess whether they are a good fit for you. Don’t hesitate to ask about their experience with issues similar to yours. Search our catalog to find a licensed mental health professional in your area.

How much does marriage counseling cost?

The cost of marriage counseling varies greatly depending on factors such as location, therapist experience, and length of session. On average, couples can expect to pay between $100 and $200 per session.¹⁰ Group therapy for married couples or couples may be a less expensive option, but it may also be less effective.¹¹

Does insurance cover marriage counseling?

Marriage counseling and couples therapy are often not covered by insurance plans because they are not typically considered medically necessary treatments. However, some insurers may offer partial coverage. This is especially important if the therapy is for a diagnosed mental health condition that affects one or both partners.

It is best to contact your insurer directly to understand your specific coverage options. If you do not have insurance, there are other affordable options, such as sliding scale therapy and employment assistance programs (EAPs), which may offer free or low-cost counseling sessions.

How to Talk to Your Spouse About Marriage Counseling

It can be difficult to approach the topic of marriage counseling with your spouse. Here are some tips to help you broach the subject in a constructive way:

• Choose a quiet moment to discuss your concerns and express your desire to strengthen the relationship.
• Emphasize that seeking help is a sign of commitment and effort.
• Listen to your partner’s point of view and address any concerns they may have.
• Suggest that they seek out counselors together and emphasize the potential benefits of therapy.
• Be patient and understanding as your spouse may need time to think about this decision before agreeing to participate in therapy.

Ultimately, the decision to seek counseling should be a mutual one. Both partners need to be willing participants for the process to be effective. If your spouse is unsure, consider starting individual therapy to work on your own growth and communication skills. This can demonstrate your commitment to change and may inspire your partner to join you in the future.

Visit our catalog to find qualified mental health professionals in your area who specialize in marriage counseling and couples therapy.