Story from the Future: Ordinary College Students Celebrate Lynching of 100th Person

The year is 2028. Ordinary students have once again done something extraordinary. Yesterday, they organized a “Lunch for Lynching” to commemorate the beating to death of a hundred people since the “happy seventh independence.”

All those killed, including a four-year-old child, were former members of the Chhatra Fascist League, deputy coordinator Bashir claimed.

They organized a program at Dhoka Medical where survivors of people’s justice were treated. One of them experienced justice again because he recovered too quickly.

“Students are the torches of morality and ethics,” said Regular Judge Mamun, who is not a real judge but adds a prefix there, the way medical assistants now use “Dr.” “If you disagree, you are a conspirator. What are you doing? What is your address? Did you steal my phone?”

The latest incident of justice took place at Dhoka University where a man was tortured to death by absolutely ordinary students. But before that he was given a full meal to enjoy, thanks to the infinite but ordinary virtue of our students.

After the 100th incident, student police chief Munmun, at the 100th press conference, said for the hundredth time: “The incident is regrettable. Can you please not kill people?”

However, Additional Assistant Coordinator Rahim said, “We will not stop until fascism is eradicated. Anyone who questions us is a fascist.”

When asked if this meant that all fascists had to be killed, he looked at the reporter while taking an ordinary knife out of his pocket.

Meanwhile, the police have not yet returned to their posts. Officers contacted expressed the opinion that the super-gig-ordinary students are doing a great job, so the police are no longer needed.

“We were the ones who used to kill without any repercussions earlier. But now, it seems we are being left behind and unpunished,” said officer Md Munir Munshi, son of Mamu Munshi of Chhaganaiya, who did not want to be named.

But atypical students are fighting back, organizing under the banner of Students Against Equality. They say the country was better off when discrimination was widespread.

“Back then, there was a hierarchy; we had ministers, DCs, officers,” said Extraordinary Coordinator Maisha. “But now they are all students. There is no difference between them, except that I am extraordinary.”

Under the slogan “Death to Anti-Discrimination” they are to block Shahbagh today. Their only demand is an end to lynchings and a return to subjugating people through draconian laws and financial corruption.