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How to Deal with Your Father-in-Law, According to ChatGPT

How to Deal with Your Father-in-Law, According to ChatGPT

The media is full of examples of strained relationships between in-laws.

From the disgruntled mother-in-law to the indifferent father-in-law, there’s often no positive representation of these dynamics—and for good reason. Many married people struggle to connect and find peace with their partner’s parents. Newsweek I wondered if there was anywhere—beyond a therapist’s couch—where I could gain the knowledge I needed to bond and heal my relationship with my in-laws.

We were curious what the chatbot had to say about in-laws as a relationship less represented in society. Newsweek turned to AI-powered tool ChatGPT for some tips on how sons-in-law and daughters-in-law could deal with difficult in-laws.

We asked ChatGPT the following question: “You’re a relationship expert. Describe three ways a son-in-law can deal with his father-in-law and three ways a daughter-in-law can deal with her father-in-law.”

Illustration Newsweek/Getty Images

Ways to Deal with a Difficult Test-In-Law by ChatGPT

ChatGPT has come up with a list of six ways to deal with your in-laws — three for men and three for women.

Newsweek Below are six methods suggested by the chatbot:

For the son-in-law who is dealing with his father-in-law

Show respect and appreciation:Actively listen to his opinions and experiences, express gratitude for his support, and be aware of his traditions and values, even if they differ from yours.

Find common interests:Discover and engage in shared hobbies or activities to build bonds, actively participate in family gatherings, offer help, or seek advice on topics he is passionate about.

Communicate openly and honestly: Resolve any conflicts or disagreements calmly and directly, be honest about your feelings and intentions, and ask for feedback to show that you value his input.

For a daughter-in-law dealing with her father-in-law

Set limits on sensitivity:Clearly and respectfully communicate your needs and boundaries, be aware of his personal space, and discuss sensitive issues gradually so as not to overwhelm him.

Cultivate warm relationships:Regularly show appreciation for his efforts and support, engage in meaningful conversations to build rapport, and recognize and celebrate his achievements and milestones.

Support family unity:Try to include him in family activities and decisions, create opportunities for positive interactions and strengthening bonds with other family members, and respect his role and contribution to family life.

Expert opinion

Navigating your relationship with your in-laws can be difficult, and AI-generated advice can offer practical steps, said Seth Eisenberg, president of the Practical Application of Intimate Relationship Skills (PAIRS) Foundation. Newsweek about his more holistic approach.

“When we’re dealing with relationships—especially challenging ones—it’s not just about strategies or actions,” Eisenberg said. “It’s about being real, being true to ourselves, and understanding the deeper needs that drive our interactions.”

Eisenberg suggested that respect for the son-in-law must go beyond the courtesy offered by ChatGPT.

“It’s easy to be respectful, but true respect comes from seeing the other person for who they are, not who you want them to be. I would encourage a son-in-law to really take the time to understand who his father-in-law is,” he said. “What are his dreams, his fears, his unmet needs?” By focusing on understanding his father-in-law as a person, Eisenberg said, a son-in-law can show genuine respect and build a deeper bond.

Eisenberg emphasized the importance of going beyond superficial shared hobbies: “Finding common interests is great, but I want to motivate you to go further,” he said. “What are your values ​​or beliefs? Do you have shared life experiences—perhaps as men, fathers, or partners—that can connect you?”

Eisenberg agreed with the need to set boundaries when it comes to daughters-in-law, but extended that advice to include self-respect.

“Boundaries are… expressions of self-respect,” he said. “When setting a boundary, ask yourself, ‘What do I need to feel safe and authentic in this relationship?’ Then communicate that not as a demand but as a way to stay true to yourself while still honoring the relationship.”

Eisenberg warned daughters-in-law against trying to win over their father-in-law by trying too hard to please him. He encouraged them to bring warmth and humanity to their interactions, not by trying to please people, but by acknowledging both their own needs and those of their father-in-law with compassion.

One perspective that ChatGPT doesn’t always take into account is cultural context, and Eisenberg noted this as an important caveat to any AI-generated advice. In many cultures, Eisenberg said, in-laws are in a position of authority, which can cause tension when new family members enter the picture.

“There may be a conflict of values ​​or expectations, and these tensions are often influenced by gender roles and generational differences,” he said. “Understanding this context helps to soften any rigid expectations—whether from you or your in-law—allowing for greater flexibility and compassion.”

Ultimately, Eisenberg acknowledged the usefulness of AI in advising on relationship structuring and logic, but cautioned against its limitations.

“AI…can make helpful suggestions, but it can’t see you,” he said. “It doesn’t understand your emotions, your fears, your longings. It can give general advice, but true healing comes when someone sees and hears you.

“The beauty of human relationships lies in our ability to grow together, learn from interactions, and discover deeper layers of ourselves through those around us.”