A voice from the Deaf and hard of hearing community

The Deaf and hard of hearing communities are celebrating their culture this month.

September is Deaf Awareness Month, with the last week celebrated as Deaf Culture Week. Many communities have a gathering to help others make new connections and enjoy the company of friends and fellow members of the Deaf and hard of hearing community. All are welcome to join the festivities, make new friends, meet old ones, and enjoy activities for people of all ages.

Some are unable to participate in these joyous gatherings. Many seem to be unaware of the month holding any significance. This is an all-too-familiar feeling of exclusion for many that should be celebrating their individuality, but they are unseen, isolated, and ignored.

Something as simple as getting friends or family to show support can be a challenge. People in public treat many from the Deaf and hard of hearing community with rude behavior. Their presence in public is often met with cruelty and ignorance. Even worse, they may face avoidance altogether.

There are many who go unheard and unseen, and most things they think and feel go unsaid. It seems the world prefers it this way, but the community fights hard every day to change this.

There are not enough interpreters available. Education about the Deaf and hard of hearing is severely lacking for children and adults alike.

Doctors will listen to me ask a question, then turn to my husband and explain the answer to him, as though he is my father or perhaps just a person who can later explain what he said to me in simple words I can understand. When I demand they respond to me, they speak in very small and simple words.

Something as simple as going to the grocery store can be terrifying for anyone from the Deaf and hard of hearing community, myself included. Workers shout at us, or speak very slowly, or treat us if we are very small children with little or no understanding of the world and how it works.

I prefer going to a store with my husband for three reasons. The first, that I feel comfort having someone who will respect me as his equal. Second, I can use sign language with him. Third, he can interact with anyone there who we may need to speak to.

My husband had the misfortune of being there when we went shopping for food and an older woman walking by began to stare. She shook her head, her face crumpled, her brow furrowed, and so much anger in her voice when she shouted at me, “You’re pathetic!”

She was only standing a few feet away, but it brought everyone’s attention. There was either nothing of us could do. We just walked on, and he checked to see if I was okay when we turned down an aisle. I felt a lump in my throat but kept composed. This is something he has witnessed time and time again.

That day, I had been mocked and laughed at earlier. When we got home, my husband hugged me. That feeling of a caring touch, understanding, a strong embrace. His voice was soft when he said, “It’s okay.” It broke me down into tears.

It is a hard and painful life. Not just for me and my husband. The entire Deaf and hard of hearing community knows these stories all too well.

Some people are taught how to focus feeling on their vocal chords and are taught how to manipulate the muscles to form words that their own ears cannot hear. Spending hours upon hours, working day after day relentlessly practicing to speak, all in an effort to appear “normal.”

Some may never come to discover the truth. They were normal from the start.

This month is celebrating ourselves and our differences. We come together, and one can’t help but feel welcomed as family and accepted unconditionally, just as we are.

This month deserves a spotlight on it every single year. This will show the world Deaf culture, and people can learn how to make the world a better, happier, safer place for people from the Deaf and hard of hearing communities here in Maine and around the world.

We deserve kindness, respect and equality. Let this month be one we all celebrate. Raise awareness that we are here, our lives hold value, and we deserve to be respected.

My name is Jeromy Bean-Thurlow, and I don’t want to go through life ignored, disrespected, isolated and unheard.

Jeromy Bean-Thurlow of Auburn is a proud member of the Deaf and hard of hearing community.

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