Designer Zandra Rhodes, who dressed Princess Diana, reveals the tragic family secret she discovered while writing her memoirs

Dame Zandra Rhodes has spoken about the tragedy that destroyed her childhood and her relationship with her father, and how that changed when the truth came out.

The 84-year-old designer, known to many for occasionally dressing Diana, Princess of Wales, and for her bold style – which includes bright pink hair and often shaved eyebrows – can look back on a busy life.

While many of them are positive – her impressive design portfolio, memories, and storied career – she has also experienced some tough times.

Among them was bile duct cancer, diagnosed in 2020. After being given just months to live, she kept the disease a secret, later explaining that “if people found out, I wouldn’t get any more work.”

Speaking to the Guardian about writing her memoirs, published earlier this year, Rhodes, who is from Medway in Kent, spoke about the difficult relationship she had with her father, Albert, when she was younger.

Rhodes, describing “actually facing my past” as the most difficult part of working on the tombstone, said she never got along with her father, whom she described as less “classy” than her mother, adding that the younger children were “snobbish”.

The estrangement occurred after Rhodes learned her maternal grandmother was a sex worker and was murdered by a client.

This dark tale cast a grim shadow over her childhood.

It wasn’t until later – much later – recently, honestly, that Rhodes learned the truth.

While no less shocking, this was a different story. Her grandmother had actually been murdered by her lover.

And the act of violence was particularly brutal: her father’s mother was almost beheaded by this man, who committed the crime with a straight razor in front of one of her little daughters.

After the tragic death of his mother, Albert was placed in the care of his aunt and uncle, who were alcoholics.

Writing her memoirs about her father helped her find what The Guardian called “a new respect and affection for him.”

Speaking in 2022 about growing up, Rhodes described herself as a “child of the Medway Towns”.

She told MailOnline: “Our house was one of four right at the top of Chatham Hill. I lived there with my parents and younger sister Beverley until 1961 when I started at the Royal College of Art in London.”

At the time, she described her father Albert as “handsome”, saying he “looked like Errol Flynn”.

He worked as a lorry driver while her mother, Beatrice, was a teacher at Medway College of Design.

“She was a unique, exotic woman,” Rhdes said. “Before the war, she went to Paris and became a fitter for the famous Worth fashion house.

She returned when the war broke out, drove ambulances and sewed wedding dresses at home.

“If Beverley and I were good and didn’t hit each other as we usually did, we were allowed to watch him try on dresses for prospective brides.”

Rhodes said her mother was an “inspiration” to her and “always encouraged her to believe in (herself).”

Unfortunately, tragedy struck – Beatrice died of lung cancer when Rhodes was only 24 years old.

Her mother died of lung cancer before she could see her daughter’s career take off.

Rhode said of her mother, “To this day I meet people who say that as a teacher she was their greatest influence and helped them find a job they loved.”

Another challenge the designer had to face was a diagnosis of bile duct cancer, which he received around 2020 – he was given only a few months to live.

Speaking about a year later, in July 2021, about her health, Rhodes said, “I feel pretty good. I just galloped up two flights of stairs.”

Even though she had only six months to live, her energy was extraordinary.

At the start of the pandemic, the fashion and textile designer, a favorite of royals and rock stars since the 1960s, was just starting a yoga session in her apartment with her best friend, artist Andrew Logan, when she realized something was wrong.

“We were lying there on our little purple mats, and my stomach was full,” she recalls. “I thought, ‘It can’t be full—I haven’t eaten anything.’”

She went to the doctor, then for tests that revealed a tumor. Three months of chemotherapy, then immunotherapy, all during that first grim lockdown.

In July 2021, Rhodes said: “Oh, I’ve been in remission for at least (…). The specialist said it’s gone now, so I’m assuming I have maybe two years left.”

She explained that she underwent treatment, after which doctors said she “probably has at least two years left,” adding that the time “gives me time to get myself together and get things done.”

She admitted that the news did not make her cry, but she said: “I probably complained to my sister (Beverley – her closest relative, mother of four and grandmother of seven)”.

Rhodes herself has chosen not to have children. Writing about her decision, she said: “My sister has four children and is a wonderful mother (…) I am a successful fashion designer who has led a very different but wonderful life.”

When she was 50, she began a serious relationship with Salah Hassanein, former chairman of Warner Bros. International Theatres.

She says that looking back on their relationship, it’s “really remarkable” that this “really heterosexual businessman didn’t notice I had pink hair.”

She explained that he simply enjoyed her company and that they had a “wonderful time” together, splitting it between his American home and his London penthouse.

The walls of the penthouse are decorated with framed photos of Hassanein, who died in 2019 at the age of 98. In the photos, the couple stand side by side and smile.

Rhodes still loves her signature pink hairstyle, and earlier this year she told YOU magazine that getting older won’t change her style.

She said: “You can’t stop aging. No matter what you wear or what you inject into your face, aging will happen. What we can control is how we feel about it and how we express ourselves.

“You’re never too old for prints, colours or change. I always go out in full make-up – you won’t catch me without eyeshadow and lipstick – and I will never shy away from the clothes I love because of the crazy idea that I should become boring because I’m 83.

“Old age hasn’t stopped me from wearing anything, it’s just changed the way I wear it.

“For example, I probably wouldn’t wear miniskirts with bare legs anymore, but I would wear them over pants. Glamour, adventure and style look great at any age.”

She told the Guardian that she doesn’t really think about age, with her best friend being 91 and most of her friends being in their 80s and “very young”.

However, she added that the majority of her team are young people, mostly under the age of 30, to whom she said it “doesn’t matter” that she is old enough to be their grandmother.

Despite sleeping with makeup on and wearing pink hair (which she claims helps keep her youthful), Rhodes is vehemently opposed to any invasive anti-aging treatments.

She has previously said: “Plastic surgery doesn’t make you look younger; it just makes you look different. Having lived in America for decades, I watched people around me change their faces to hide their age.

“Accept your wrinkles, they are part of the life you have lived. Be proud of them if you can, and if you are not proud, there are things you can do to cover them up – I have bangs to hide the wrinkles on my forehead.

“I wear extra makeup around my eyes and extra jewelry that’s distracting. There’s no point in fighting these things too much; you can only do so much.”

Speaking about aging and what it means, Rhodes believes, “Age is a matter of spirit.”