I have never been a whiny wife. My husband divorced me for worse reasons.

My ex-husband has been married for two years. He treats his new wife well. It shocks those closest to us. It frustrates them to see this disparity.

“You were so easy to get along with.”

“You never asked him for anything.”

“He made you feel like you were working when you weren’t.”

They’re not wrong. I joke that I was the girl sitting next to him on the beach saying “pass the wine.”

I have never been a nagging wife. I have never been demanding. I have never been difficult.

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You wouldn’t know it from the way he joked about me. It was kind of his nature. He is rude and his sense of humor may be based on making fun of people.

Still, it shocked those who know us and even our children. They don’t get it. Why is he different with his new wife? Especially since it sounds like she can be picky about certain things.

There’s nothing wrong with that. They just knew I was the opposite. My ex-husband recently met someone I know.

“My wife is ten years younger than me,” he said. “She is my retirement plan.”

And that’s it. The reason my ex-husband treats his new wife so well.

But I already knew that. I knew exactly why he treated her differently than he treated me. To be fair, they’re also in the early stages of their relationship. They’ve known each other for four years.

But the real reason is money. My ex-husband is interested in two things. He takes care of himself and his money.

This realization helped end our marriage. When I realized that our value systems were different, I couldn’t shake it. I couldn’t stay with a man who put those two things first in his life.

It was played in stereo during our divorce. It was an ad for him and his money.

His new wife is chipping in on the bills. She gives him one of the most important things in life. Well, at least the most important thing to him. He’s saving what he often called “his” money. He’s also preparing for retirement.

A 2020 large-scale replication study by the Association for Psychological Science examined mate preferences in 45 countries. The researchers found that most men placed more emphasis on appearance when choosing a mate. Traits such as youthfulness, symmetrical bone structure, and wide hips in females were seen as signs of overall health and vitality, ensuring the survival of the species.

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The longer she works, the less money he spends searching through. That’s a win for him. His world is ruled by money.

The absurdity of how he saw me. He pretends to be a self-made man. In reality, I built a business and investment properties with him. I managed money for most of our marriage.

I was the one paying the bills for our home, business, and rental properties. I was a huge financial donor. He doesn’t see it that way.

Why? Eventually, I transitioned to being a stay-at-home mom. We either had to hire someone to replace me at home or in the business. Either way, I was still involved and managed the finances.

I increased our savings and paid off our bills. I was raised by a single mother and my professional experience is in marketing. I was incredibly good at managing money.

The way my ex-husband treats his new wife can be frustrating to those who love me. I love them for it. I love not only their loyalty, but also the fact that they see me for who I really am.

But it doesn’t frustrate me. If anything, it confirms me. It shows me what I already know.

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My ex-husband doesn’t value any specific person. He values any person from whom he feels he receives something.

His true character is constantly evident. This is a man who has been around for years he was barely looking for his children. His priorities were fully revealed in the divorce. He puts himself and money above all else.

Unless he gets something he wants. In which case he’ll seem happy and loving. He’ll seem like a great guy. He’ll seem like he cares about the individual. I should know.

For years I was in a relationship with a happy (diagnosed) narcissist. Until anger drove the narcissist from hiding. He is an illusion.

A 2022 study published in the Journal of Research in Personality on narcissistic relationships shows that while a selfish person may be supportive of their partner early in the relationship, as the relationship progresses they will become increasingly focused on their own wants and needs — to the detriment of the other person and the relationship.

I don’t care how he treats his new wife. I’m glad he’s not abusing me anymore.

Colleen Sheehy Orme is a nationally syndicated columnist, journalist, and former business columnist who writes about love, life, relationships, family, parenting, divorce, and narcissism.

I have never been a nagging wife. I have never been demanding. I have never been difficult.

“My wife is ten years younger than me,” he said. “She is my retirement plan.”

The longer she works, the less money he spends searching through. That’s a win for him. His world is ruled by money.

My ex-husband doesn’t value any specific person. He values ​​any person from whom he feels he receives something.

My ex-husband doesn’t value any specific person. He values any person from whom he feels he receives something.