Kathryn Graven talks about motherhood, umeboshi and intercultural relationships – The Bowdoin Orient

On Tuesday, author and journalist Kathryn Graven came to the College to give a lecture on her new book, “Memoirs of a Mask Maker.” The conversation arose when Graven approached Professor of Government and Asian Studies Henry C.W. Laurence, asking to bring her work to the College.

“I hope my story will inspire other people to study Japan and be open to what Japan can do,” Graven said. “I just want to be a cheerleader for the next generation of Japanese studies students because I love this country.”

Originally from Minnesota, Graven had a tumultuous childhood. At a young age, her mother died in a car accident, and Graven had no time to mourn because her father quickly remarried. She wanted to leave: her family, Minnesota and the country. When the first opportunity to travel through the American field service became available, Graven took it and was sent to Japan.

Graven quickly found a Japanese host family, even though he spoke very little Japanese. She developed a special bond with her Okaasan (her Japanese host mother). Despite the culture shock Graven experienced due to the difference in language, dress, and culture, Graven found a common connection with her family through the magic of umeboshi.

Once, when she caught a cold, Graven’s host mother gave her a medicinal herb called umeboshi, a pickled ume fruit common in Japan. To the delight of her host family, Grazen liked sour fruits, she first tried them when she was seriously ill, but later ate them willingly. Host mother Grazena started packing umeboshi into her host daughter’s lunch.

“She didn’t know that umeboshi actually saved me every day in class when we were unpacking our lunches at school,” Graven explained. “My classmates couldn’t help but glance at my obento. I’m not sure what they expected, but when they saw my lunch of minced pork, scrambled eggs, sliced ​​cucumbers, and maybe stewed carrots sitting on top of rice that looked just like their lunches, they were stunned. Umeboshi upstairs sealed the deal…. During lunch, I spent at least 30 minutes adjusting to the situation. I had what everyone else had: a Japanese mother who prepared my obento with love and creativity.”

Writing became another safe haven Graven gained in Japan. It was a way for her not only to return to her “English brain”, but also to connect with many women who had a positive impact on her life.

“I had other women step in and give me a helping hand. One of them was my paternal grandmother, whom I wrote about in the book. Her name was Helen Davis Graven. And the other was my best friend’s mother, Phyllis. She lived next door to me in Minnesota,” Graven said. “Phyllis gave me a beautiful blue journal as a gift for going to Japan. So in a way, I consider this journal and the sense of isolation I experienced in Japanese high school as… the beginning of my writing career.”

Graven’s high school experiences in Japan inspired her to return to her career after graduating from Stanford University and earning a master’s degree in East Asian Studies.

After returning to the United States, although she initially worked as a translator at an investment bank, she quickly found a love for working as a night reporter for the ABC News Bureau. She then worked at the Wall Street Journal and then taught journalism in Boston. Recently, while simultaneously working on mixed media painting, Graven published her memoir in 2022 titled “Memories of a Mask Maker.”

While Japan provided the stability she sought when she was younger, Graven now finds comfort and belonging in different places. Whether it’s Japan, Boston or London, Graven knows that her home can be found in her support network. Her experiences in her youth made her realize that families are not always born of blood, but rather of the people you surround yourself with and choose to let into your heart.

Despite the tragedy, Graven still recognizes the curiosity and love that the women in her life have brought her to. These women – her grandmother, her neighbor, and Okaasan – made her who she is.

“The story is not that I lost my mother, but rather that I was rich in them,” Graven concluded.