What is a Scorpio like in a relationship?

When it comes to dating, Scorpios are often unfairly maligned as obsessive, jealous, and manipulative – the list goes on. As such, however, I can’t help but feel that this characterization is a bit unfair. (Although my exes may disagree with this…)

Obsession is simply passion! Jealousy is a sign that you care! Sure, being manipulative isn’t the best look, but the mysterious, deep, hypersexual side of Scorpios is what makes them so magnetic despite their more difficult traits. (Consider your favorite iconic, moody Scorpios like Frank Ocean, Winona Ryder, and Adam Driver, to name a few.)

So, as Scorpio season approaches, it’s time to defend my zodiac sign. Scorpios do not deserve slander! In fact, many astrologers say that we make amazing partners.

Main feelings, mostly hot

The truth is that, according to astrologer Bella Popa, all the intensity that this sign exudes comes from the desire to form a deep bond with your partner. “Romantic relationships are very important to Scorpio. They don’t look for surface-level connections. For them, relationships are an opportunity for their souls to connect with another soul and transform,” he says. (We love keeping it casual! JK!)

Scorpios are water signs, which means they feel things “extremely deeply,” Popa says. So when it comes to dating, their passion is best combined with other water signs, Pisces and Cancer, or balanced by the balanced Taurus who sits opposite them on the zodiac wheel. (All my longest relationships suddenly… make sense.)

“When you date a Scorpio, you will be completely transformed,” says Popa.

“Because they feel so deeply, they tend to focus on a person,” Popa says. That’s where all this obsessive energy comes from, he says, and it can certainly lead a Scorpio to, well, doubtful territory, which makes their personalities just too absorbing for some.

“I’ve had partners end their relationships because they thought dating me was too intense,” says Elise, 23, who lives in Boston. For example, she once fell in love with a boy during her first week of college. The click happened immediately and it quickly became an item, but it only lasted a month. He broke up with her, explaining that he needed to “work on himself.”

“I thought, ‘No, he just doesn’t understand how much I care about him!’ Eliza says. Her solution? She waited outside her dorm for him to leave so she could make him realize what he was missing.

“Looking back, I just couldn’t accept the fact that he didn’t like me. I thought I showed him how much I cared, but it was a crazy move – although if the roles were reversed, it probably would have worked on me,” Elise laughs.

Don’t hate the green eyed monster

However, this Scorpio obsession, while overwhelming, is fueled by the desire to worship, adore, and dedicate your life to the person you love, Popa explains. This means that Scorpio jealousy sometimes comes into play. (But really, who hasn’t been a little territorial from time to time? Just me?)

“I’ll be honest and say I’m jealous in relationships,” says Ben, 26, who lives in Brooklyn. We recently had an example of this when his girlfriend’s uncle tried to set her up on a blind date with a sexy personal trainer. (The uncle did this even though he knew his niece had been taken away – which is why he highly disapproves of Ben).

“She went to a restaurant thinking she was meeting her uncle for dinner, but instead there was a huge, muscular guy waiting for her,” Ben explains. To his girlfriend, who wasn’t the least bit interested, it was a fun, crazy story that she couldn’t wait to tell her friends. “When she told me, I forced myself to laugh. In fact, the first emotion I felt was uncontrollable rage. Like smoke coming out of my ears, blood in my eyes, and rage,” says Ben.

To this day, he can’t look at his uncle the same way. Scorpios hold grudges, Popa notes, and don’t like to share.

The rumors are true, they are good in bed

AND ICYDK, Scorpios are ruled by Mars, the planet of action, ambition, passion and sex. “Scorpios are one of the most sexual, sexy and alluring signs,” explains Popa. (Thank you.) “For them, sex can be a healing and transformative experience. For them, it’s not just a physical thing.”

Take Regan, 32, who lives in San Diego and says sex is non-negotiable for her. Not only does she look for partners who can “dump her” in the bedroom, but she loves indulging in “sexual clichés, like when my partner took me to his office and cleared the desk and then beat me up.”

Like many Scorpios, Regan is also known in her social circle for her sexual spontaneity, as when she once asked a man if he “wanted a little sloppy top behind the bar counter, and he said yes, so we agreed.” Her friends like to tell the story when she shouted across the bar to the guy she wanted to take home, “Stop making out with her and start making out with me!” Spoiler alert? She was successful. He ended up spending the night.

Just don’t ask a Scorpio to open up

Regan, Ben and Elise (and me!) promise not to be manipulative. But secretly, keeping your cards close to your chest? Yes, it works. Scorpios are a fixed water sign, represented by ice. Popa says that the Scorpio, like the iceberg, has depth.

“What’s going on beneath their surface is much deeper than you can imagine, and it takes time to discover it,” he says. So being with a Scorpio requires patience and a willingness to learn about them over time. There is a high probability that at first we will be more interested in getting to know you than in revealing information about ourselves.

“People often describe me as mysterious and secretive,” says Caroline (22), who lives in Chicago. “I’m just not a big yammer. And when I meet someone for the first time, I only reveal what is necessary,” he says.

This hold-up was a sore point for her at the beginning of her current relationship, when she met her partner on Tinder in 2020. When they asked where she lived, Caroline didn’t reveal her specific area. “They tried to get to know me but I failed, I questioned their motives. At least she was afraid they would judge the suburb she came from. At worst, she didn’t want to give out information about where she lived to a virtual stranger. “They found it very strange and initially repulsive,” he says.

The same goes for Regan, who likes to make up stories about her profession and interests on dates until the other person is honest. He likes to get a feel for a person’s character before he reveals literally anything about his own life – even in low-stakes situations.

“I once told a guy I had a boat even though I didn’t have one, and when we went to the docks he found out I was lying and dumped me,” Regan says, which in retrospect she completely understands. “The same goes for the guy I told him I liked hiking, but when he asked me to go on a hike, I had to tell him I didn’t really want to go.” So she never saw him again either. Understandably, the hard-to-identify nature of this sign can be frustrating – but that’s also what makes us so damn intriguing.

Ultimately, however, due to the intensity, care and value with which Scorpios treat their partners, they are more than worth the chance. “When you date a Scorpio, you will be completely transformed,” says Popa. “It’s the kind of relationship that stays with you for life.” Trust.

Source:

Bella Popa, astrologer