10 cheats that give women an unfair advantage in relationships | Loveology University

Maybe you haven’t dated in a while, or maybe even a long time, and you feel left out of the trends when it comes to online dating advice and tips for navigating social media if you’re interested in finding love. Or maybe you’re a seasoned dater with profiles all over the internet, texting and messaging about your latest love interests like a pro. Either way, there are some dating tips that just won’t go out of style because the truth is, they work.

Here are 10 cheats that give women an unfair advantage in relationships:

1. Don’t compromise your core values for dating

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Don’t settle. Don’t waver when it comes to your core values and beliefs. Violating your core values and beliefs will end in disaster, leaving you to regret a series of unsatisfying dates. Establish your boundaries from the beginning to set the tone of trust and mutual respect.

If there are significant differences that can’t be patched, don’t pretend everything is fine. This is not the case and you don’t need to waste time constantly confirming this.

2. Don’t be afraid to step outside your comfort zone

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When we stay in our perfect, nice and neat boxes, we tend to miss out on the adventures of life! Life is meant to be lived, and sometimes that means stepping outside of our comfort zone and dancing with the unknown.

Let’s be clear: I’m not suggesting that you put yourself in harm’s way, but I am suggesting that you broaden your horizons and try something different. Visit new places and discover new things! Is there a gallery or museum you’ve been wanting to visit? The gym you’ve “almost” gone to hundreds of times?

Do it! Make a change and feel the power of your new energy. Develop a new mantra – live the difference!

3. Be honest with yourself and others

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Be clear about your dating intentions. Ask yourself this question: Am I dating for fun, or am I dating because I want to find a committed relationship?

Based on your honest answer, you can then approach dating with clarity. Whatever your answer is, it’s fine. Just be honest with yourself and your potential suitors.

Trust me, no one likes the old bait and switch. Additionally, it helps weed out people who don’t have the same dating desires.

If your dating desire is to find a potential life partner, only date people who express the same desire. Remember that you can’t change people, so don’t set yourself up for failure.

4. Be who you are

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Be yourself. Do not, I repeat, do not send your representative on YOUR date. Show up as your authentic self every time. This way, your date will have the opportunity to get to know the real you.

Plus, it takes too much brain power and work to try to be someone or something you’re not. Why waste time trying to create an illusion or personality that your partner may or may not like? If you present yourself as yourself, you don’t have to waste time wondering whether your partner is interested in you or your alter ego.

5. Don’t overestimate dating sites and apps

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This one is for daters who have “been a while.” Yes, it’s true, online dating is a timeless tip these days. Stanford University research even states that online dating is the best way to meet new people.

Here’s another news for you: traditional dating methods are dying out, and that might be a good thing! Good technology has created a dating database that is easily accessible and often provides excellent matches. Get a friend who knows dating – and maybe your daughter or son! — to help you build your profile and watch opportunities come your way.

6. Ditch the “list”

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We often tell ourselves that we don’t have a perfect date because we are extremely judgmental, overly critical, or too skeptical. There’s nothing wrong with being active in dating, but stop creating unrealistic lists of demands that no one, including you, will be able to meet.

It’s certainly okay to look for a partner with certain core values and ideal characteristics, but it’s equally important to be flexible enough to allow for imperfections. For example, kindness and generosity are important. Hair color? Not so much.

Decide what is truly important and non-negotiable and throw the rest out the window. Otherwise, you’ll spend the rest of your life alone with your “perfect” list.

7. Ask yourself if you would go on a date

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If the answer is no or you’re hesitant to answer, then you still have some work to do before you start dating. We often have expectations of others that we cannot even meet ourselves, or we are so detached from the past that we have not taken the time to properly heal.

In both cases, it is important to take a break to look for the cause. It’s not fair to take all your baggage and dump it directly in your date’s lap. I suggest to my clients that they spend some time dating.

Find out who you are and what you like to make sure you’re ready to start over. Remember that we attract to ourselves the same energy that we send out. So if you make a mess, that’s exactly what you’ll get in return.

8. Stop looking for love in nightclubs and bars

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I’m not saying it’s impossible, but a nightclub probably isn’t the best place to find love. People usually spend time in clubs and bars for two reasons: to hang out with friends or to find a casual connection.

If you’re in the mood for an evening of casual indiscretion, a nightclub may be the right place for you, but if you’re looking for something more specific, try looking for potential dates in places that really interest you, or where you can find people who have something in common. For example, if you are a jazz lover, try visiting a vintage record store or going to a concert in the park. This is a much more likely place to meet a potential partner.

9. Remember that dating does not equal physical intimacy

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Somewhere in the last few decades, dating became synonymous with networking. Dating, at its core, is an intentional process that involves getting to know each other in the context of friendship and assessing one’s suitability as a potential partner. Intimacy is not required for this.

It’s certainly your choice whether or not you engage in casual hookups if you choose to do so, but be mindful of the intended and unintended consequences. We caution that chance encounters are not without costs: physical, mental, emotional, spiritual, biochemical, social, etc.

10. Always remember that you can leave at any time

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Never allow yourself to stay in a dating situation that makes you feel uncomfortable. It is acceptable to apologize and end the date.

If you’re on a date and you feel uncomfortable, politely find a way to apologize and leave the stage. And if the date was extremely questionable, find a way to completely remove that person from your dating list.

When in doubt, follow your intuition. When people show you who they are, believe it!

While these tips won’t guarantee you’ll never have a bad date, they can help eliminate the guesswork and put you on a promising path. Learn to enjoy showing up authentically every time, and you’ll start to love the dating process. Of course, then the perfect partner will appear.

Dr. TaMara Griffin was a certified clinical therapist, best-selling author, and influential motivational speaker with over 20 years of speaking, writing, and teaching experience.