According to psychology: 8 clear signs that a man is simply not interested in you | Janet Ong Zimmerman

Ladies, we deliberately tell ourselves that deciphering a man’s true interests is a difficult mystery, but it is not. There is one thing you need to pay attention to in order to know with complete clarity whether a guy likes you, cares about you and wants a life with you.

Pay attention to his actions, not his words. Knowing if a guy likes you is really that simple and at the same time it makes it so hard (read: scary). Instead of constantly asking yourself, “Does he like me?” awareness of your actions will save you time and heartache.

According to psychology, here are 8 clear signs that a man is simply not interested in you:

1. Late night news is the norm

He’s texting late at night and wants to meet up. You seem good for a date, but nothing more than that, which the council confirms Berkley University Health Services.

2. It’s like a series of meetings

You only have short calls or texts to decide what you will do and where you will meet.

A guy who likes you wants to spend his free time with you and know who you are. You will hear from him between meetings. He will be happy to introduce you to his friends and family. Study with International psychogeriatrics Association shows that he will treat you with respect if he likes you.

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3. You spend most of your time together in the sheets

I’m sorry, but his behaviors and actions are telling you loud and clear that he’s not entirely into you, as explained in the Intimacy Theory research published by Journal of social and personal relationships. He has one leg in and one leg out. Many women make the mistake of trying to do this and hoping more that the guy will like them more. But the signs are already there and nothing will change.

4. It always disappears

He disappears between dates and you have no idea where he’s going.

Exploring the effects of relational uncertainty arising from Personal Relationships Journal suggests that even if you can’t figure it out, you should listen to any troubling feelings that arise when words and actions don’t match or align. If you are not honest with yourself, you will spend weeks, months and years with the wrong men in relationships that are not right for you (and were never right for you).

5. Keeps your options open

Even if you get along well and are having a great time, he still wants to keep his options open in case someone better comes along. According to a study conducted by The The., he shows a lack of commitment and destroys the stability of the relationship Journal of Family Psychology. This is difficult because he may be saying things you want to hear and he may be getting into your head smoothly, causing you to over-analyze, make excuses, and overlook obvious red flags in his behavior.

This is hard because if you feel like you’re running out of time or that you won’t meet anyone better, you’re more likely to believe that empty promises mean he likes you. It takes courage to resist letting his words mean what you want them to mean, rather than seeing what his actions tell you.

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6. You haven’t met his people

He keeps his life at a distance – he is reluctant to introduce you to his family and friends (or you haven’t met them). Research in Journal of Social Indicators Research shows how including family and friends in social networks is crucial to healthy relationships.

7. He puts himself first and you second

Don’t let your mind rationalize his actions or talk you into accepting behavior that leaves you feeling like it’s an afterthought. As shown by a study conducted in Journal of Experimental Social Psychology.

8. Treats you badly and blames you when something goes wrong

Behaviors and actions don’t lie. The words are not true. When you pay attention to a guy’s behavior and actions, you will quickly learn how he feels about you. Your mind may try to rationalize his actions or convince you that you don’t mind being mistreated. The Gottman Institute tells us that in healthy relationships, the ratio of good interactions to bad interactions is five to one. But your body will tell the truth and you will feel that something is wrong.

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So what do you do if you’re in love with a guy who says the right things, but his actions don’t match? Leave now. Don’t fall into the trap of thinking, “If only I had…”. Don’t spend hours talking to your girlfriends about what you should do.

By leaving, you are making room for a man whose words, behaviors and actions indicate that he really likes you. Instead of rushing to find love, pace yourself, let things happen naturally, and pay close attention to how your body feels around the men you date.

His actions speak louder than words when he cares about your well-being. His words match his actions, his actions consistently communicate that you are a priority, and he is excited to get to know you as a person (and not just an intimate partner).

Most importantly, be kind and compassionate to yourself. It takes time to find the one that is right for you. Just wait patiently and see; pay attention to the signs that appear when a guy is not into you. By doing this, you will move on more quickly and become available to a man whose behaviors and actions clearly show that he is completely interested in you.

Janet Ong Zimmerman is a dating and relationship coach, founder of Love for Successful Women, and creator of the Woo: 9 Juicy Ways to Arouse a Man’s Desire for Attention course. She helps successful women find the love they want.