Live and Let Dai: Henwood learns how to let go in Japan

In 2023, Henwood told the New Zealand public that he had been diagnosed with terminal bowel cancer in 2020. In the second hour of the beautifully shot series about his journey, he travels to Japan to find ways to deal with the disease.

The episode opens with an early self-shot video, shot shortly after his diagnosis and full of emotion. At that time, the “intent to cure” was still there, but the fear was painfully clear.

Describing his lifelong love of Japan – Henwood has visited Japan many times over the years – it seems appropriate that it would be a place he would travel to in hopes of finding “mental tools” to help him deal with his diagnosis. It is this journey and the Tabidachi ceremony that are the main themes of this hour.

During the passing ceremony, viewers will learn the context of a tear-filled letter the comedian wrote to himself in the first episode. This is the first of many steps.

The camera focuses on Henwood’s tear-stained face. His words – telling himself that he is a good person and does not deserve cancer – float across the screen.

This is the moment that made the comedian realize that the day was “escalating quickly.” It’s a moment that makes the viewer realize the same thing we’re watching.

Yet amid Tabidachi’s intense scenes, there are moments of peace, love and a sense of unbridled joy that flows from Henwood’s stage life. In this case, the viewer is transported to a truly unique concert in November 2023 – Dai Harda at the Wellington State Opera House.

It’s like “coming home,” he says. It’s the same place where Henwood stood on stage in 2019, tearfully delivering a eulogy for his father Ray and telling him, “You made me a better man.”

The knowledge that he is a good man, as he says elsewhere in the episode, overwhelms him. Question: “Why do I have cancer?” is difficult – perhaps impossible – to reconcile.

There are more scenes of Henwood talking to oncology students with Dr. Ben Lawrence, in which he asks questions and talks about what cancer has taught him. He recalls a difficult conversation with his son, who asks if he is going to die.

In a heartbreaking moment, the comedian admits he feels like he’s brought “heaviness” into the house and feels he needs to apologize for having cancer.

But just like in the first episode, viewers get moments of a joyful Henwood who loves to make people laugh.

On the Opera stage, he tells jokes about bathtubs and his upcoming trip to Japan. Backstage, we learned about pre-show breathing problems, elevated cancer markers, and how, when cancer affects your breathing, you think about it with every breath.

But then he was shown with his arms raised and given a huge standing ovation from the Opera House audience. It’s an emotionally poignant moment that “filled my bucket well.”

It is the love and support from the public that gives him strength.

“To everyone watching, a huge thank you. Honestly, this changes everything for me,” he tells the camera.

The Tabidachi ceremony and the emotions that accompany it are what are truly memorable.

We see Henwood being told that he must give up his worldly possessions. He is supposed to write down the names of important people, experiences, dreams and other items close to his heart on small pieces of colored paper.

He does this using his Dad’s pen, which he carries with him everywhere. In one of many heartbreaking moments, he can’t write his mother’s name because he’s only allowed three.

Outside of his family, Henwood notices his dog, his dream of watching his children grow up, his dad’s pen, and his Seiko watch.

Each of them is stripped away as he is guided through diagnosis, fear, anger and the various stages of dying before – freely crying – Henwood bears two of his last three names – his two children.

The bell rings and his heart is said to be slowing down. His tears become more and more intense. It was time to reveal the last name: Joanna, his wife.

In this truly difficult and honest moment, he finally has 10 minutes – with his face covered – to talk to his closest family member and convey the news to his wife, children and mother.

On camera, he describes feeling in control of himself in this moment and feeling deeply that his soul is “at peace.”

He knows how deep his love for family, friends and humanity runs.

“It was a feeling of, damn, you’re a good dude, man.”

Where the episode begins with deep fear, it ends with hope. There is nothing left to do but focus on life.

“I don’t know how it’s going to work out, but it’s going to work out.”