The study shows how critical an influence fathers have on who their daughters end up with

I’ll be honest – my dad is not the loving type. Sure he’s around, but his way of showing he cares makes me take better care of my car. I have never stopped to wonder how my relationship with my father affects me today (or ever).

Researchers say that low-quality fathers, not just absent ones, negatively impact adult relationships with daughters.

In 2019, a team from Pennsylvania State University recruited over 200 pairs of sisters for a study. The team analyzed how the father’s behavior and absence affect the daughters’ development.

For this study, each couple had to be born at least 4 years apart and be children of a divorce in which the father left the family some time before the younger daughter was 14 years old. This setup allowed researchers to compare how each sister approached adult relationships. The only variable was contact with the father. One 2019 study found how divorce can impact young children’s mental health and cause depression.

Researchers found that older sisters who had low-quality contact with fathers (particularly those who were violent or struggled with mental illness or addiction) had lower expectations of their partners. These sisters were more likely to have had more partners and less satisfying relationships.

Comparisons of mothers’ behavior showed no correlation within any of the pairs of sisters or between different groups of sisters, nor did the number of years that fathers lost from the younger siblings’ lives. When therapists asked about my dad, I always replied, “Eh, I think he’s nice enough and tolerable. We never talk and he’s never really shown any interest in me. But everything’s fine.”

However, this study raises some questions as I analyze my current life and my past. Would I have been less willing to accept verbal and sexual abuse from men in middle and high school if I had seen my father in a different light?

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Maybe I would have been less willing to give more of myself if I had felt more loved as a child. Would I be less dismissive of my husband’s behavior if I had seen something different growing up?

I remember my dad attending the baseball and football games my brothers were playing, and at my band concerts and theater performances, the seats were empty. Every evening after work he sat in his recliner, drinking a few beers and watching TV, and I asked if he could help me with my algebra homework.

My brothers learned to drive stick shifts under dad’s tutelage, but he wouldn’t let me drive the car if I climbed into the driver’s seat. My friends often shared stories about fun daddy-daughter dates, but I could never contribute to the conversation.

The shocking thing is that he walked me down the aisle and cheated on me at my wedding. As a mother, I feel that this research is extremely important not only for me, but also for my daughters. All women need this information.

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The more we understand about ourselves and what influences our behaviors, the better we can protect ourselves and find happiness.

As we prepare to enter into a relationship, have children, or become loving aunts, we need to know how fathers uniquely influence their daughters.

We must arm ourselves so that we can break the cycles that harm us. Of course, like any psychological study, this study has some limiting factors. First, researchers collected all information through self-reports.

There are also potentially additional variables that the researchers did not consider in this study. However, this study is the first of its kind.

This is a great start to understanding how much a father’s behavior directly affects his daughter’s future relationships. I think this information is invaluable and I hope to use it in my further work on self-improvement.

Megan Glosson is a freelance writer and editor. Her work has been published in The Mighty, Project Wednesday, Think Catalog, Unwriting, and MSN.