Taking a break from work with my husband made me rethink our entire marriage

For most of the last 23 years, I have been a personal stylist, entrepreneur and single parent. I married the architect of my dreams when my children were 12 and 17. Being a single parent and small business owner meant I didn’t have the opportunity or resources to travel for pleasure.

So, when my husband had to travel for work, it was very important to me because it was only my second trip to Europe; this time we will be in Portugal while my husband attends an architecture conference. I had a week to explore Lisbon, taking cooking classes, shopping in small boutiques and walking around the city’s hills. But while there, my husband and I began to drift apart.

Unfortunately, the reality of the trip was that the problems in our marriage joined us.

He was gone from sunup to midnight, attending conference sessions and cocktail parties, leaving me alone to wander the hills, wander the alleys, and sneak into stores looking for the perfect gifts to take home alone.

Even though we shared a small Airbnb (and were married!), we barely saw each other. I found myself at a beautiful resort overlooking the sea with this handsome, brilliant man, my husband, and I had never been less confident and committed in my life.

Sure, everything was great on paper. We had a beautiful house in a college town; we were both well educated, he was an architect and I had a company.

But I felt lost and alone. I couldn’t pinpoint exactly what was wrong, but one thing was certain: we were miserable. I’m not the only one, according to Pew Research Center statistics, with 55% of respondents saying that unhappy couples tend to stay in failed marriages for too long.

I couldn’t continue living a life that wasn’t making me happy, and I couldn’t pretend that everything was fine when it wasn’t. Looking out at the ocean, I saw what I had been missing.

The vast opportunities that awaited me were far from where I called home. It was at that moment, as I sat on the balcony, that I made a decision that shocked me to my core. I decided enough was enough.

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We moved back to Cleveland together, but our marriage ended.

Six months later I left. I packed my things and drove away without looking back. It was one of the scariest things I’ve ever done, but it was also one of the most freeing and turned out to be one of the decisions I’ve ever made.

Now I live a new life here in Sicily, Italy, in a place that has always held a special place in my heart. I started a new business and am once again pursuing my passion for entrepreneurship. And most importantly, I am happy. My journey to Italy began many years earlier when I started collecting civil records to prove my ancestry in order to obtain Italian citizenship.

It was a long and confusing process, involving many changes and starts, and countless hours spent scrolling through confusing Facebook groups. But finally, after a lot of effort and determination, I was ready to move to Italy. And so I set out for the country that had always called me, where I would start a new life and business.

But new life in Italy is not without obstacles. Although it was a dream come true, going through the process of obtaining Italian citizenship was not easy. I encountered countless obstacles, from locating vital records to dealing with unresponsive municipalities and resolving document discrepancies.

It was a frustrating and overwhelming experience that many others have probably struggled with as well. Oddly enough, all this time I spent trying to figure out how I could prove my ancestry and obtain Italian citizenship led to my passion project, Italian Citizenship Concierge.

Now I have the honor of helping other people who qualify for citizenship realize their dreams of becoming Italian citizens. Leaving the old life of the perfect wife has opened up space for greater mental creativity, and last year I also launched a comprehensive online course that guides people through the process of obtaining Italian citizenship, so that moving to Italy can be the beginning of “la dolce vita”.

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It was a daunting journey, but I knew it would be worth it on my path to a new, happy life. Looking back, I now realize that the turning point came when I finally admitted to myself that I wasn’t happy.

I was so busy trying to be the perfect wife and mother that I forgot about my own needs and desires. But once I realized something was missing, I could take steps to fix it.

I don’t regret my decision to leave. It was difficult and terrifying, but also necessary. I now live a life that is authentic to who I am, and that is something that no amount of money or success can buy.

How important is it to live authentically? In one study conducted in 2008, researchers found that people who scored higher on the Authentic Living Scale reported greater happiness, more positive emotions, and higher self-esteem. For anyone who may be feeling stuck or unfulfilled in their own life, I encourage them to take a step back and assess what’s going on.

Are you happy? Are you living the way you really want to live? If the answer is no, don’t be afraid to make a change. It may be scary, but it may also be the best decision you will ever make.

Jennifer Sontag is a freelance writer and owner Concierge of Italian nationalitya citizenship agency that helps Italian-Americans obtain citizenship in Italy through Jure Sanguinisa.